It’s important to realize that relationships have different levels. Each level of your relationship will bring bigger challenges and more complex skills are needed to overcome these obstacles. Getting to the next level can sometimes be pretty tough. So RESET can put you back at the beginning of the same level of your relationship. It’s not always a good thing to start over at Level 1 (before you learned what to do and not to do to keep the relationship in a stable state). You want to start over at the level that you’ve already reached and try new methods to help you move forward.
Sometimes you say the wrong thing, you make a mistake, or you just get off course. You may get frustrated. Or one of you becomes complacent and quits putting forth effort. You both start feeling discontent and you don’t know where things went wrong.
R- Remember why you fell in love in the first place
E- Express to your partner why they are important to you- verbalize what you feel about their support and their positive impact on your life; say something sweet
S- Spend time together- spark interest- do things you used to do that made you happy- start dating again- laugh and enjoy each other’s company WITHOUT focusing on work, kids or bills
E- Engage in loving actions- show them how much you care through gifts, service, support– take time for intimacy (making love- not sex- is a great way to RESET- love-making requires time and effort- NO Quickies….well, my husband interjected- he said quickies are GREAT!)
T- Take time to explore new things and grow together- travel, try something different-do things they want to do (activities) – don’t be selfish (focusing only on what you want out of the relationship)
Sometimes, relationships feel old and stagnant. You feel yourself going round and round in a maze. You don’t know how you got in and you don’t know how to get out. So try to RESET to get back to a place of love and enjoyment. Happy couples work hard at maintaining a fulfilling relationship. They understand that the relationship evolves and reaching the next level is vital to growth. When things get challenging, talk about it, RESET and work on moving forward without holding on to the past.
And know that it’s OK to admit you need help- counseling is ALWAYS an option to help you get back on track!